No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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