those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
