I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
