So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she looked like the before picture.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
