We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
