Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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