Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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