Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
