i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
