She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize