As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
