Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
