He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
