Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
