this boner is exhausting
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have post one night stand depression
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