I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
