i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
