'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
