Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
