Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
