i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
