i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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