but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
