I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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