Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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