So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
