he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
