Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My brain says no but my pants say off.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
