im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize