I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
