I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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