i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
