As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
