Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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