Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
