I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize