Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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