We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
