Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
