I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
