she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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