No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
