i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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