is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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