i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mom said you looked used
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
