It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
