This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
