dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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