I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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