He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
