you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
