Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
