Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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