yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize