Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
