Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
