I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
