My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
