there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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