i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
