DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
