Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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