Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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