and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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