Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Randomize
