I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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