I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
