WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
