Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
