Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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