who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
