do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
