addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
