I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
