You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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